Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Tortured by Nicole Williams




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When he left for a twelve-month deployment, she knew it would feel like forever before they saw each other again. She didn’t realize how right she was. 

When Lance Corporal Brecken Connolly gets taken as a POW, Camryn hopes for the best but steels herself for the worst. In the end, steel was what she needed to survive when he didn’t. She moves on the only way she knows how—gilding herself in more steel. 

Years go by. 
She builds a new life. 
She leaves the old one behind.

Until one day, she sees the face of a ghost on the news. Brecken seems to have risen from the dead, but she knows she can’t perform the same miracle for herself. While Brecken was held in a torture camp for the past five years, she’s been trapped in her own kind of prison. One she can't be saved from.

The man she mourned comes back to join the living, but the girl he wanted to spend his life with isn’t the same woman he comes back for. Brecken isn’t the same person either. The past five years have changed them both. While he’s determined to put the pieces back together, she’s resolved to let hers rot where they shattered. 

Broken or not, Brecken wants her back. He’ll do anything to achieve that. Even if it means going against the warden of Camryn’s personal prison—her husband.

  “It’s been six years. Everything’s changed. I have. You have.” My eyes lifted. “Why? Why are you trying to win me back?”

He exhaled, his lips parting. “I’m going to win you back.”
When his hand slid around the bend of my waist, winding behind my back, I jerked. His touch was different tonight, hungry, determined. My head clouded, blocking out reason or letting it surface to the top, one or the other.
“I married him,” I whispered even as my hand found his chest.
“But you belong to me.”
My eyes closed as he bowed me against him. I wasn’t sure how two bodies that had been as broken as ours could be so strong when joined. “How do you know?”
“I can see it in your eyes. Every time you look at me.” His other hand lifted to my chin, tipping it until our eyes connected. His brow rose slowly, like I was proving his point right that very moment.
“That’s a confident statement.” My voice shook, but my body felt steady. Unwavering.
“It’s the truth.”
My chest was moving so hard, it brushed his with every breath. What was I doing? Where had I found myself? The man holding me had died only to be resurrected six years later. It was too late, but it wasn’t over.
No matter what, Brecken Connolly and I would never be over.
“Twenty-six days,” I said slowly. “That’s all I have to give you. That’s all I have to give. Four weeks. Once he’s back, you know the way it has to be.”
His face broke, but his hold didn’t budge. “It’s not enough.”
My fingers curled into his shirt, looking for some way to hold on to him. “I know.”
His other arm suddenly looped around me and he lifted me off the ground, his grip going around my backside when my legs tied around him. “But a fucking eternity wouldn’t be enough either, so it’ll just have to do.”
He carried me through the sand and up the stairs of the cabin, then he propped me against the wall so he could open the screen door. Something slipped out of my mouth when he flexed his hips into mine.
“Told you it wasn’t a morning issue,” he whispered in my ear, but I could hear the smile in his voice. “Just a Camryn one.”
He made the same motion with his hips, applying a little more friction this time, causing a louder sound to echo from my lungs.
Opening the screen door as silently as he could, he carried me inside.
“You can set me down, you know?” I whispered.
“I know,” he said, his arms tying tighter. Once all of the lights were off, the cabin closed up for the night, he padded down the hall.
“You know where you’re going?”
His head nodded beside mine. “I’ve always known.”
My hands went behind his neck. His skin was warm and familiar. “And where’s that?”
He exhaled against my skin as he closed the bedroom door. “Toward you.”
He set me down once he’d untied my legs from around his waist, and he took a few steps back. He stared at me for a moment then reached for the lamp on the dresser.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Turning on the lights.”
I watched him flip on another. “Why?”
“Because I want to see you. Because I want to watch your face as I move inside you. Because I want to see your skin flush when I make you come.” He flipped on one more light, then all of his attention turned to me. “Because I want to see everything.”
My heart took off as I imagined being intimate with him with every light in the room on. My body wasn’t the same one he’d left. It had carried a burden; it bore the scars of a shattered soul and a broken body. “I don’t want you to see me. Not like that. In the dark, you can imagine the way I was before.”
When I reached for the closest lamp to switch it off, he stopped me. “I don’t want to imagine.” His hand curled around mine, guiding it away from the lamp. “I want the real thing. I want the real you.”
“You’ve seen my body. You know what I look like beneath all of this.” I motioned at the fresh clothes hanging off of me, covering me from my wrists to my ankles to my neck.
“When I look at you, I see beauty and strength, and the one person in the world who gives me a reason to live and a reason to die.” He drew me to him, his face creased in lines of concentration. “That’s what I see when I look at you.”


Review 
                                                 ⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐stars

ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review

She's done it again, folks! I have liked every book I have read from Nicole Williams and I am wondering is she is even capable of writing an awful book! Tortured was different from the books that I have read from Nicole so far but I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. 

The plot of the book caught my attention before I even started reading it. I have always been interested in POWs and the kind of scars that can leave on a person. I imagine being in the military is hard enough on a person as evidenced by some of my family members that have served. I can't imagine being a POW and having to endure the torture mentioned in the book. 

My absolute favorite thing about this book were the parallels that were drawn between Brecken's experience with being a POW and Camryn's own brand of hell. I don't want to spoil anything for people who haven't read this book so I won't mention what Camryn's situation involves. I thought that the parallels were brilliant! The thought process behind this impressed me. It wasn't something that I had ever thought about in that particular light before. I think that each person has gone through something where they feel trapped and want to break out. 

The characters jump off the page. They feel so real and they are beautifully flawed in similar and also unique ways. Brecken and Camryn were both incredibly brave over the course of the book and I admired them for it. I loved how Brecken was able to show Camryn that it was okay to be vulnerable and that his love for her was unconditional. 

There was something that bothered me about the book. I couldn't wrap me head around why Camryn made some of the choices that she did. People grieve in different ways and being under duress can't help matters. I suppose she could have panicked which caused her to make decisions that she later regretted. I don't really know but it caused me to deduct a star. I didn't understand what made Camryn get married in the first place and keep the secret that she did from everyone. It kind of threw everything out of whack for me but I still LOVED the book! Tortured is a must read! 

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